The MANIC Society
by ewggestalt
Summary: The MANIC Society had started a number of years ago when it became clear to a sizable number of people that Arthur and Merlin: (a) definitely belonged together as a couple and (b) would never be able to take it upon themselves to manage the transition by themselves.


The MANIC Society

"Welcome, everyone. If you can take your seats," shouted Percival over the din in the hall. "We'll get this meeting of the Merlin and Arthur Need to be Immediately Coupled (or MANIC) Society started."

The MANIC Society had started a number of years ago when it became clear to a sizable number of people that Arthur and Merlin: (a) definitely belonged together as a couple and (b) would never be able tot take it upon themselves to manage the transition. So the society was created with the mission of doing everything they could to make the two of them a happy, functional couple. Unfortunately, in spite of their best efforts, years and countless meetings later, they seemed no closer to their goal than the day they started. However, the meetings were fun and gave everyone the chance to vent, so they continued far longer than anybody had planned. The treats from the cooking staff, who were also members of the society, didn't hurt, either.

Everyone slowly took to their usual seats, although they found themselves in a new setting when they discovered they needed to admit a brand new member. Finding a room that could accommodate a pair of dragons was no easy feat, even in a castle as large as Camelot. But considering that the Great Dragon was figuratively—and literally—the biggest Merlin-Arthur shipper in all of Albion, it would be hard to imagine a meeting of the society without his presence. So they located to a room that overlooked the aerie in which he was formerly imprisoned. It had a window large enough to allow him to look in on the meetings and comment as needed, but was also protected and warded so that he couldn't flambé everyone inside in case he got overexcited.

"We have a new member joining us this week. I think you all remember him from when he tried to destroy Camelot a few years ago in retribution for his treatment by Uther. However, he's reformed his ways and is an true supporter of the cause. So, please, Mr. Great Dragon, tell us a little about yourself and why you decided to join the MANIC Society?"

The Dragon's voice began to fill the room. "Thank you, Sir Percival, for the introduction. I do apologize for nearly burning down the city, but there's only so much injustice you can take before revenge becomes attractive. However, Merlin stopped me from turning everyone into Camelot jerky, so I hope we can forgive our past transgressions and work towards ensuring that Arthur and Merlin fulfill their true destinies."

"A worthy cause," responded Percival. "What have you done to help out with that?"

"Well, I've been working on getting the two of them to realize they are more than just king and servant. Obviously they're not going to get anywhere if Arthur feels he's taking advantage of someone who's obligated to follow his orders. So I've been encouraging Merlin to view Arthur as the 'other half of the same coin," and reminding him that 'the half cannot hate that which makes it whole.' I haven't mentioned that their long-term destiny involves them being a couple—they'd just fight that like a bickering couple. But I've tried to make Merlin see that they're better off together than doing anything stupid like sacrificing themselves for one another."

"You've done well, given the problem of not being able to talk to Arthur directly," offered Percival. "Let's thank the Dragon for his report and I hereby welcome him as a member of the MANIC Society." A polite round of applause followed.

"So, are there any new suggestions from the group for how we might get our two favorite ignorant fools together? Would anybody like to start?"

Gwaine raised his hand. After being recognized, he launched into his idea. "I've heard about this new thing known as 'skywriting.' People send one another messages—even proposals of marriage—by having the words fly in the sky."

"Fly in the sky? Through what means can words fly? This sounds like some sort of sorcery." Leon was always a bit skeptical of most of the ideas and often acted as the voice of reason in the group. For that reason, he was always viewed as a bit of a wet blanket, but since he was also Percival's consort, nobody gave him _too_ much of a hard time. Nobody wanted to make Percival mad; an angry Percival was a very dangerous Percival. Similarly, nobody wanted a disappointed Percival, either: being on the receiving end of his look of disapproval made you feel like you had stumbled upon your grandmother _in flagrant delicto_ while being caught kicking a puppy and eating a baby, all at the same time. It was just too much to deal with, so everyone tried to make sure he maintained his usual good spirits as much as possible. Luckily, he was easy going enough that it wasn't too hard.

"Well, apparently, the words are attached to something called an airplane, and the airplane flies in the sky. It's not magic; it's a machine of some sort."

"But who has such a machine?"

"It should be available sometime soon—I was told that it would be around in the 20th century."

Percival addressed the crowd. "And does anybody know what century we're in right now?"

This set the crowd to confusion, unfortunately. Nobody was exactly sure where they were. Between the presence of the Old Religion, the fashion, the architecture, and everything else, all they could figure out was that this "twentieth century" that Gwaine referred to was too far in the future for any of them to rely on in this lifetime.

"Well, unfortunately, I think we'll have to table that idea for now," said Percival. "Are there any other ideas or proposals to consider right now?" Silence ensued for a brief moment. "If not, then it's time for us to address any possible obstacles that might be looming in the horizon. Leon, are there any state visits that we need to worry about?"

"Unfortunately, there are three visits by kings and dukes with unmarried daughters, so the potential for mischief, including aphrodisiac and camouflage spells is quite high." A collective groan rose from the group. "However, with Morgana's assistance, we may be able to delay one or two of the delegations for some months. What say you, Morgana?"

"I don't have my immortal army anymore, thanks to Merlin," spat Morgana, "but I should be able to devise something suitably diabolical to stall them." Now everyone turned to Morgana incredibly confused—many of them realizing for the first time that she was even in the meeting at all. "Why is everybody looking at me like that? I may be evil, but I'm not blind. Besides, if those two spent more time getting laid, I'll have more time to hatch my plans to take over the world." Murmured agreement at the brilliance and evilness on display quietly bubbled around the room.

"Okay, we'll put that down as an action item for next week," said Percival. "Has anybody else done anything that might put a damper on Merthur?" Silence ensued. "No one? Seriously?" Percival was skeptical that no one had screwed up; that would have been a first in all of the annals of the MANIC Society. He was about to move on when he saw a small motion out of the corner of his eye. _Dammit_ , he thought, not looking forward to what was coming.

"Uther, what did you do?"

Uther Pendragon's ghost quasi-materialized into the room, suddenly casting an enormous chill in the room. "I may have attacked Merlin and tried to intimate to Arthur that Merlin has magic as he was sending me back to the spirit realm."

This sent the room into an uproar. Shouts of "how could you, Uther?" and "shame" and loud booing equally filled the hall. Percival quickly got out his gavel and tried to bring the group back to something resembling order. "Well, this is a bit of a mixed bag, I guess," he offered. "Attacking Merlin will get Arthur's protective instincts going, which is a good thing, but trying to bring up the whole magic angle is against our ground rules."

The whole issue was a bit touchy. Everybody in the MANIC Society knew—or at least guessed—that Merlin was not entirely the bumbling manservant he seemed. Obviously the Great Dragon and Gaius knew from the very beginning about Merlin's character; others clued in over the years. Elyan, Gwaine, Leon, and Percival realized something was up when they met Dragoon; he had the same eyes as Merlin, and that wasn't anything that could be easily faked. And if Dragoon was magical, that meant Merlin was, too.

The only person who hadn't seemed to realize what was going on was Arthur, who was still divided between his father's incessant and constant teachings that sorcery was automatically evil and his own experiences. He was horrified at some of the things he had done to satisfy his father's commandments and knew that ultimately he'd have to change the law as king, but bringing up in the context of Merlin seemed like asking for trouble. So the MANIC Society decided early on that they'd just ignore the whole issue, trying to set the two of them up without bringing up magic. If it came up, it would be on Arthur and Merlin and they'd deal with it when the time arose, if necessary.

"Alright, so that's a demerit against Uther, which means he'll be responsible for providing the coffee for our next meeting. The next order of business will be trying to organize our potluck for next weekend. . . ."

 _Meanwhile, in Arthur's chambers. . . ._

"Will you stop trying to peek in on the MANIC Society meetings? They're so boring and repetitive."

"I'm just surprised that they haven't figured out after all this time what we're up to during their meetings," said Merlin, leaning against Arthur in their bathtub. "You'd figure that after _five years_ somebody might have tried to sneak out and see."

"They're preoccupied. Besides, I have it on good authority that the cooking staff saves their best baked goods for the post-meeting get-togethers. Nobody wants to leave and miss out on that."

"And they don't share with us? For shame. I would have thought that with everything we've done for them, they'd spare us a cake or two every now and then."

"You'd think they'd do it because I'm their king, but apparently even I don't have that much pull. But do you really want to discuss cakes right now when we're both all clean? I'd like to get a bit dirty, if that's all the same to you."

"I like the way you think. Time for round two." 


End file.
